ThingsIfindfunny.net

The SNUGGIE Blanket

Whooppie!  My SPAM inbox has been getting filled with something other than member enhancements and cheap drugstore options.  Yes, SPAM has become all warm & fuzzy… nice, soft, comfortable.  Introducing “SNUGGIE”, the blanket with sleeves!

Does the world need blankets with sleeves?  I mean, that just means people can wear them and walk around.  “No shirts, no shoes, no snuggies.”  Or what if somebody answers the door dressed in nothing but a snuggie?  It’s either going to open in the front or the back — like a hospital gown, except more comfortable (er, for the wearer).

Do they have Snuggie’s for two?  After all, I do like to share a blanket with a special someone once in awhile.  How do you put two sets of “arms” into a blanket anyway?

And what if you want to wrap your head in the blanket too.. you know, when you’re REALLY cold, or sick, and have to get totally into the blanket - where only your eyes peer out from a narrow slit (like Jawas in Star Wars).

I guess problems with the design notwithstanding, the Snuggie is getting heavily marketed.  You know it’s all in the marketing, too, because we’ve had snuggies all along - we just called them “Sweatshirts!” They might not have been as long, but they are certainly more versatile.  They don’t drag along the ground picking up cat hair, you won’t trip on them going into the kitchen, and you can still go into a restaurant looking respectable.

Of course, if you want to take a really happy warm picture with all your friends (like below) you’ll need to pony up the dough and invest in a small army of Snuggie blankets for you & the guests.  After all.. no sharing allowed!

Group Snug!

What’s funny about the price of gas drawing near to the cost of expensive perfume? It’s not funny. Kinda depressing really. So in order to make ourselves feel better we joke about it! Hey, I like that kind of therapy. So here’s a collection of gas jokes to *ahem make you feel better!

SOLUTION?

If you’ve ever been to a Costco (yeah I know, strange, obscure out-of-the-way type place) you might have noticed that they sell a few food items there. Some of them are quite good… in fact, I think I’m addicted to hot dogs & almond bars.

As I was standing in line to feed my addiction the other day, it occurred to me that their “Chicken Bake” was a pretty lame name for a food item. I mean, who are the ad wizards who came up with that one, right?

So… to show that individuals in their own right can easily surpass the creative advertising geniuses who designed the “Chicken Bake”… I’ve compiled a mix & match list for you.

INSTRUCTIONS:
Just match one of the delectable meat products on the left, with the cooking action taken on the right… and you will have created a brand-new fast food product ready for mass marketing!

Using this method will get you some terrific sounding treats!
Pork Fry
Shrimp Dip
Lobster Melt

But BEWARE! There are many dangers to avoid… such as the:
The Ostrich Microwave
a Shark Shake
and the dreaded Buffalo Boil

Thank you Costco! As always a great inspiration to me.

Actually… this is a different kind of “funny”, as-in “something funny is going on here.” In the recent Iowa polls, Ron Paul tied with 2 others with 10% of the vote, soundly beating Guiliani. What’s important to note is that Guiliani has been all over the news channels, while Ron Paul is constantly given “no chance” or ignored completely.

Just look at this box. Very funny concept, and I can’t take credit for that. But who is missing? If you don’t know yet, just click on the box and you’ll find out. The point is that Ron Paul gets ignored by the Media, and I’m not sure why? Perhaps they are just frightened that if people knew about him, he’d stomp the other contenders.

Now you know my political leanings… oh well. All I want is for America to have a bright, free future. We need fiscal responsibility, better foreign policy and a leader who TRUSTS the people instead of big government!

Hahaha… I just had to laugh at this picture. I’m sure you got all sorts of well wishes, “Merry Christmas’s” and “Happy New Years”. Hope you don’t feel like this funny character. . .
To all my friends who sent me best wishes for 2007, it did NOTHING AT all. For 2008, could you please send either money, or gas vouchers?

Ack! Actually, this isn’t very funny at all. Well, hahaha.. kinda is, now that I’m thinking about it. It’s like being drunk, except it’s not illegal and your brain cells don’t die. Well, at least I don’t think they do. Kinda hard to know, cuz if they’re dying you’re losing the very stuff that would tell you they were dyin…. oh man.

Sometimes it’s a wonder we make it through the day half-asleep. I mean, talking to people.. no problem. Driving… scary. But if you operate a forklift at Costco, you’re going to run some people over if you don’t get your sleep.

So for the sake of holiday shoppers at Costco’s all across the country, please allow those forklift dudes and dudettes to hit the hay early. We don’t want any trouble.

(I wonder if I’ll regret this post in the morning?)

Don’t you just love dogs? I do. If people were like dogs, there would be a lot more happy in this world! Just think about it.. DOGS ARE:

• Loyal
• People lovers
• Born pleasers
• Hard workers
• Happy about almost everything
• Not ashamed of themselves in the least

We humans share similar desires as dogs — companionship, the need to belong, the thrill of exploration. Thankfully we’re a little more refined with our “social graces” otherwise church potlucks would be rather… uhm… interesting.

But dogs are so funny! You make them do silly tricks, put peanut butter on their noses, or tobasco on their tongues (uh, no kids… I’m joking, don’t do that!)… and yet they just love you unfailingly.  “Haha… I smelled peanut butter for three days!” they’d say.

The thing I love about dogs the most, though, is their ability to be happy. Unless you lock them up, treat them wrong, or they get sick — dogs always seem to be in a good mood! Tromping through the snow, falling into a “puddle” 3 feet deep, finding a dead rat and gallavanting around with their “trophy”… what makes humans flee in terror dogs do for fun!

You just gotta smile and love ‘em for it.

“Well… I mean, you know, like I knew that you know, were like cool and stuff, you know. But I mean it’s like, like I didn’t know that you knew, you know?”

Ever hear a conversation like this? Drives me nuts! There are so many “likes” and “you knows” on reality television that it makes it almost unwatchable. Do people really talk like this from day to day? “I mean, like… Oh My God!”

Is it a lack of introspection? Seems that if people would just listen to themselves talk, they might realize that there are some improvements that could be made in their speech patterns.

And there is NOTHING wrong with a PAUSE in your speech to form just the right words before talking. A pause does not convey stupidity, but is actually used with great effect to show intelligence. Practice it and you’ll see that people will indeed wait to hear your thoughts — and you’ll sound so much better without all those “filler” words, you know!

Bad: “You know, I uhm well like I was sorta planning to go to the mall you know, but I mean whatever, you know.. I’m like open to other ideas and stuff, I mean its cool if we don’t go.”

Good: “I was thinking of going to the mall… (pause) what do you think?”

Just watched this movie. While it’s certainly not a work of art, it produces some smile-out-loud moments. A few 3ha’s as my brother would say.

The thing I like about Mr. Bean is he has no inhibition. He does what any 5-year-old child would do, and he does it with gusto. He’s enthusiastic when things go his way, and throws stomping temper tantrums when they don’t!

Sometimes it’d be nice if we could all let our guard down a little. Be ourselves a bit more. NO, NO… don’t go dumping your unwanted food into a some ladies purse, or be an idiot with no personal space. But share a little more of your feelings with those close to you.

Tell your kids when you’re happy.
Tell your wife when you’re in love.
Tell your brother he’s hilarious!

And sometimes throwing a temper tantrum is sure dang fun!

It’s the holiday season - time to go sing Handel’s “Messiah” at a church near you. Make sure you bring:

• Music
• Water
• Friends
• Iron Bladder
• Mouthwash
• a healthy dose of humor

I attended my first Messiah sing-along tonight. Graciously, we skipped all the solos and merely sang the chorus parts, so it was a bearable sub 2-hour performance (sub-standard that is). But you’re not there to ace the performance, right… you’re there to enjoy the music, to experience a community, and to honor one of the great choral works — by completely slaughtering the singing!?!?

After a few of the more difficult passages where you alternate being lost, with only thinking you know where you are… laughter breaks out. “Hey! I hit that last note! Right on.. next!”

But the BEST PART is the HALLELUJAH CHORUS! Oh joy… something almost everyone knows reasonably well. And it sounds good, Hallelujah! (finally hits me why they called it that)

All in all… a great experience. But some of those harder sections… oh man.  I’ve GOT to bring a recording device next time.  That’d be comedy gold!  One more reason to do it all over again next year.